Escalators and old people don't mix
Today on my way out of the library in Bath (which strangely, is on the first floor of a shopping mall) I ended up following a little old lady towards the escalator. As I was in no hurry to get home and continue to revise I took my time and patiently waited as she very slowly plodded towards the downwards escalator. Once on the moving stairs I thought to myself:
"Aren't escalators brilliant devices? They stop old people from holding people up by forcing them to descend/ ascend faster than there natural rate of climb. I'll just stand here and enjoy the ride not being held up because the short of walking backwards up the steps the little old lady in front of me can't go any slower!"
Of course what I had failed to take into account was the situation once we reached the bottom of the escalator. Once she had "hopped" off she stopped without warning (as all old people do from time to time) to rearrange her shopping and multiple coats that she was wearing.
"No problem, that's her right" I hear you scream. But alas you (and she) failed to realise that she was blocking the exit from the escalator which wouldn't have been a problem if I was the only person behind her but unfortunately that was not the case as there were about 10 other young to middle aged people behind me.
I of course couldn't bring myself to mow down little old Doris so I used my considerable mass to form a human road block. This cause what is known in motoring terms as a "Pile up" behind me. There was a mass of squashed and twisted youthful limbs building up behind me as they tried to queue stationary on a moving escalator (you try queuing stationary without warning on moving steps!). Inevitably a few people must have been sucked under the lip of the escalator and returned to the top with the recycled steps. Ironically for these poor young people their injuries are likely to make them as slow and as immobile as the little old lady who instigated this little event.
I (despite feeling like I had the stress of the Hover Damn on my back) came out unscathed.
Moral: Either libraries or old people are a danger to the general public’s health. Or both?
"Aren't escalators brilliant devices? They stop old people from holding people up by forcing them to descend/ ascend faster than there natural rate of climb. I'll just stand here and enjoy the ride not being held up because the short of walking backwards up the steps the little old lady in front of me can't go any slower!"
Of course what I had failed to take into account was the situation once we reached the bottom of the escalator. Once she had "hopped" off she stopped without warning (as all old people do from time to time) to rearrange her shopping and multiple coats that she was wearing.
"No problem, that's her right" I hear you scream. But alas you (and she) failed to realise that she was blocking the exit from the escalator which wouldn't have been a problem if I was the only person behind her but unfortunately that was not the case as there were about 10 other young to middle aged people behind me.
I of course couldn't bring myself to mow down little old Doris so I used my considerable mass to form a human road block. This cause what is known in motoring terms as a "Pile up" behind me. There was a mass of squashed and twisted youthful limbs building up behind me as they tried to queue stationary on a moving escalator (you try queuing stationary without warning on moving steps!). Inevitably a few people must have been sucked under the lip of the escalator and returned to the top with the recycled steps. Ironically for these poor young people their injuries are likely to make them as slow and as immobile as the little old lady who instigated this little event.
I (despite feeling like I had the stress of the Hover Damn on my back) came out unscathed.
Moral: Either libraries or old people are a danger to the general public’s health. Or both?
posted by Nurton at 2:28 am
1 Comments:
You are too soft. Just because she's old, doesn't mean she's exempt from exercising common sense or manners. If the walking stick had been on the other hand, she would have no doubt barged past you or given you a very sharp and authoratative 'excuse me' so as to highlight your poor form. I speak from experience. I have had many an exchange with an cantankerous old person who has implied that I was in the wrong/ rude/ young and therefore un-important and has expected me to aquiesce just becasue they are old and therefore not to be trifled with. I can cite several examples, but I'll take up too much space. In short, some old biddies need telling. I'll leave it to you to use your disgression as to which ones.
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