Well that was embarrassing
Monday night was another Vodbull night at trusty Volts down on the quay. Colin had gone home for a few days so we were confident of an "incident" free night.
We entered the club by 9:30 so as to avoid the cueing. By 11pm I had been chucked out by the bouncers for being too intoxicated. My memory of the evening goes a bit like this:
1.) Drinks in Pub (2 beers) with friends. Sober
2.) Drinks in Volts (x Vodbulls) with friends. Still sober(ish)
3.) Bouncer carefully putting me down on the wall outside the entrance to the club
[Where x is an integer between 6 and 10]
Between memories 2 and 3 some shit happened, but I have ZERO memory of it. Which is seriously scary. SERIOUSLY.
4.) Bouncer bringing me water and telling me that if I sobered up I could come back in, so I agreed to sit down and have a little rest.
5.) Toddled round to other entrance on the other side of the building to try and gain access that way. The bouncers on that door said that they had heard about me and that they wouldn't let me in. I said "Damn you're organised. Clever boys, clever boys" and returned to my perch on the wall.
6.) Tried to write SOS text message to Kat. My fingers would not obey my mind. Or my mind would not obey my will.
7.) Tried to stand up. Failed
8.) Tried to stand up. Failed
9.) Tried to stand up. Failed
10.) Tried to stand up. Failed
11.) Crawled up the hill and sat in the bush
12.) Fell down hill
13.) Tried to stand up. Failed
14.) Bouncer brings me more water
15.) Tried to stand up. Failed
16.) Girl chucked out of club next to me. I try to talk to her. Words not really happening for me. She seemed also to have the same oral disability.
17.) (01.15am) RESCUE!!!!! My friend Al who I play football with emerged from the club as my guardian angel. As far as I could see he was on his own.
18.) He carried/pushed/pulled me to the ‘Raj India’ kebab shop. I refused his offer for a kebab as I was aware I may have been sick multiple time that evening already.
19.) Kind man in kebab shop brought me a cup of water.
20.) I chuck myself out of kebab shop after accidentally spilling cup of water before imbibing a drop. I tell Al I will wait for him outside.
*From what AL told me yesterday of his conversation in kebab shop with a mate who walked in*
Al: Hi
Al's mate: Hello!
Al's mate: Have you seen that guy collapsed and throwing up outside the front of the shop. Great advert for a kebab shop!
Al: Oh that'll be Noel. I better go and take him home. Laters.
21.) Al wants to know where all the blood on my face has come from? He thinks I been beaten up. I think the truth was more like a gravity malfunction between my nose and the pavement while he was inside eating.
22.) I hug Al at the end of my road and tell him that I'll have no problems finding my house.
23.) AMAZINGLY I find my house and key and even lock the door behind me.
24.) I write the most untrue text message of my life to friend. "I'm fine. Need sleep. Talk tomorrow.”
25.)Wake up at 10pm. Still drunk.
This was categorically the most inebriated I have EVER been. I am NEVER going to drink again. Monday night was not fun.
Notice I said, "most inebriated" and not "most I had ever drunk". I really didn't drink THAT much. I have NEVER not been able to walk. I have NEVER not been able to remember dancing, talking to people I knew. So I conclude there was a good possibility that something was put in my drink. Especially as I suffered total memory loss from inside the club and then seemed to get more and more drunk while outside. Very strange and very scary.
On Tuesday things did not get any better as I had accidentally agreed the night before to play in a 6-a-side tournament. I tried to recover from the hangover from hell by watching my first ever Star Wars movie (A New Hope). It did seem a little surreal, but I guess that was intended.
In the afternoon I went and did the most stupid thing I have ever done. I ran around for 3 hours playing football. Amazingly, with no help from me whatsoever and not much help from the other people on our team (they had all been out the night before) we came 4th out of 8 teams. Not bad. I on the other hand did feel bad. I felt very bad. I had only managed to consume half a pint of water and no food (due to the sensitive state of my stomach) that day so was quite amazed I managed 4 games without collapsing. A few people did mention I looked rather "pale". Stupid boy.
My hands were still shaking in the evening (I was starting to wonder if the hangover would ever wear off). I was so stiff after football that due to the cramp I had in both legs I was unable to bend them in such a fashion to take off my socks in the evening. It took me 45 mins in the end to remove two socks!!!
From what people told me on Tuesday I was in the club for about another 30 minutes from the last time I remember to when I was thrown out. It is really freaky that I have no memory what so ever of those events. Maybe it will teach me to be responsible in future???
We entered the club by 9:30 so as to avoid the cueing. By 11pm I had been chucked out by the bouncers for being too intoxicated. My memory of the evening goes a bit like this:
1.) Drinks in Pub (2 beers) with friends. Sober
2.) Drinks in Volts (x Vodbulls) with friends. Still sober(ish)
3.) Bouncer carefully putting me down on the wall outside the entrance to the club
[Where x is an integer between 6 and 10]
Between memories 2 and 3 some shit happened, but I have ZERO memory of it. Which is seriously scary. SERIOUSLY.
4.) Bouncer bringing me water and telling me that if I sobered up I could come back in, so I agreed to sit down and have a little rest.
5.) Toddled round to other entrance on the other side of the building to try and gain access that way. The bouncers on that door said that they had heard about me and that they wouldn't let me in. I said "Damn you're organised. Clever boys, clever boys" and returned to my perch on the wall.
6.) Tried to write SOS text message to Kat. My fingers would not obey my mind. Or my mind would not obey my will.
7.) Tried to stand up. Failed
8.) Tried to stand up. Failed
9.) Tried to stand up. Failed
10.) Tried to stand up. Failed
11.) Crawled up the hill and sat in the bush
12.) Fell down hill
13.) Tried to stand up. Failed
14.) Bouncer brings me more water
15.) Tried to stand up. Failed
16.) Girl chucked out of club next to me. I try to talk to her. Words not really happening for me. She seemed also to have the same oral disability.
17.) (01.15am) RESCUE!!!!! My friend Al who I play football with emerged from the club as my guardian angel. As far as I could see he was on his own.
18.) He carried/pushed/pulled me to the ‘Raj India’ kebab shop. I refused his offer for a kebab as I was aware I may have been sick multiple time that evening already.
19.) Kind man in kebab shop brought me a cup of water.
20.) I chuck myself out of kebab shop after accidentally spilling cup of water before imbibing a drop. I tell Al I will wait for him outside.
*From what AL told me yesterday of his conversation in kebab shop with a mate who walked in*
Al: Hi
Al's mate: Hello!
Al's mate: Have you seen that guy collapsed and throwing up outside the front of the shop. Great advert for a kebab shop!
Al: Oh that'll be Noel. I better go and take him home. Laters.
21.) Al wants to know where all the blood on my face has come from? He thinks I been beaten up. I think the truth was more like a gravity malfunction between my nose and the pavement while he was inside eating.
22.) I hug Al at the end of my road and tell him that I'll have no problems finding my house.
23.) AMAZINGLY I find my house and key and even lock the door behind me.
24.) I write the most untrue text message of my life to friend. "I'm fine. Need sleep. Talk tomorrow.”
25.)Wake up at 10pm. Still drunk.
This was categorically the most inebriated I have EVER been. I am NEVER going to drink again. Monday night was not fun.
Notice I said, "most inebriated" and not "most I had ever drunk". I really didn't drink THAT much. I have NEVER not been able to walk. I have NEVER not been able to remember dancing, talking to people I knew. So I conclude there was a good possibility that something was put in my drink. Especially as I suffered total memory loss from inside the club and then seemed to get more and more drunk while outside. Very strange and very scary.
On Tuesday things did not get any better as I had accidentally agreed the night before to play in a 6-a-side tournament. I tried to recover from the hangover from hell by watching my first ever Star Wars movie (A New Hope). It did seem a little surreal, but I guess that was intended.
In the afternoon I went and did the most stupid thing I have ever done. I ran around for 3 hours playing football. Amazingly, with no help from me whatsoever and not much help from the other people on our team (they had all been out the night before) we came 4th out of 8 teams. Not bad. I on the other hand did feel bad. I felt very bad. I had only managed to consume half a pint of water and no food (due to the sensitive state of my stomach) that day so was quite amazed I managed 4 games without collapsing. A few people did mention I looked rather "pale". Stupid boy.
My hands were still shaking in the evening (I was starting to wonder if the hangover would ever wear off). I was so stiff after football that due to the cramp I had in both legs I was unable to bend them in such a fashion to take off my socks in the evening. It took me 45 mins in the end to remove two socks!!!
From what people told me on Tuesday I was in the club for about another 30 minutes from the last time I remember to when I was thrown out. It is really freaky that I have no memory what so ever of those events. Maybe it will teach me to be responsible in future???
posted by Nurton at 11:00 pm
3 Comments:
We can only hope, Noely. (Told you nightclubs are dangerous!)
Hope you're feeling better today. Get that drunk at the ball and I WILL abandon you!
Grr, why is it I say that and know that I'd never really do it!?
You played football? I'm trying to imagine you wearing shoulder pads and a helmet.
No you're confused. Football is played with the feet. I think what you are speaking about is something to do with boys running around a pitch with far too many lines drawn on it. The boys all wear too many pads and helmets and spend most of the time having 'mothers meetings' rather than actually doing any running. They also rarely if never use their FEET. I can't remember what this game is called, but it ain't FOOTBALL that's for sure.
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