Ugly Blokes and Fit girls (and ambulances)
Today I haven't achieved very much, primarily because most of my brain was destroyed in a Vodka-Redbull related accident the night before. Here are some of the photos from the night and a commentary.....
It was James' (Diggs) 21st birthday party so Kat, a few of her housemates and I headed down to John Gandy's to help him celebrate with a few drinks. The others were planning to head onto a club after but I said I wouldn't go as I wanted to make it to my lectures today.
One of the presents his housemates got him was an inflatable sheep (don't ask!). James claims he wasn't that drunk when I took these snaps (although when he sees these photos he might change his story in order to save face!)
[As per normal, apologies about Auto focus (I will sort this soon, promise!) and if you hover over the pics there should be a caption. Click to see full size]
James discovers the sheep (warning this is distressing!) is for "adults".....
James' housemates dictate that there is to be a strict "open door" policy when James in his bedroom alone with the sheep so there'll be no repeats of this kind of behaviour....
As it was his birthday girls felt sorry for him. Her he is seen with Charlotte who is tipped to be his future wife.
At this stage the guys who I'd come with and myself(I changed my mind and decided I would go with them and only have a few drinks then head home early so as to make it to lectures) said our goodbyes, wished James the best of luck and headed off to Volts (a night club down on the quay). It was a themed ‘VodBull’ night which meant pound a drink. Kat's housemate, Nat was with us and she had decided to get drunk (possibly for the first time in two years, so we promised to look after her).
The night started with everybody getting pleasantly merry. Below is a picy of Nat and Colin
Then a fairy came and sprinkled some magic intoxicating dust and we all seemed to get totally bolloxs'd. Nat was totally wasted as was Colin (as he found out later) and I think the fact that I spent most of the night stumbling (literally, I was like a pinball, bouncing off one person then the next) around the dance floor demonstrates my level of non compos mentis.
Some of the boys (Dan, Col and Leon)
By now I was totally rat-arsed and was making a complete and utter tit of myself. I don't really remember much detail of the rest of the night but found the below picture on my camera in the morning to my surprise. I have no idea who the girl is although I do remember dancing(if you can call it that) for a long time with some blonde. At the time I put down her apparent attractiveness to my 10 inch think beer spectacles. It seems in retrospect that I was wrong to be so pessimistic about my visual judgement. Shame I was not dextrous enough to take advantage of her friendliness! I know Mark (who comments on this blog from time to time) has issues with the concept of Fit girls and Ugly men, the only excuse I can offer is that maybe she thought I was Chris Moyles?!?
Meanwhile Nat continued to experiment further with the effects of alcohol on her innocent body.
The only other incident of note in the club was when I caught Kat dancing. This, in my experience is a very rare event and I was surprised not to see David Attenborough or Bill Oddie taking documentary film footage of this uncommon occurrence. Here is Kat and John caught on the dance floor. (For those of you who don't know John, he's one of Kat's housemates who is a lovely person and secretly in love with her.)
I do have loads of other photos but as I am a kind hearted person I won't put them up here so as not to further embarrass a certain drama student. Also I just can't be bothered.
When it was time to leave the club I went to regain Kat and my coats then exited into a huge crowd of bladdered students. I couldn’t see anybody I knew, so started to shout out for Kat like a lost seal screaming for its mother. After about 20 seconds I realise that she was standing on her own about 2 metres in front of me in full view. Not that I was still under the influence at this point you understand, I just managed to miss her! We couldn't find Colin so the rest of us headed home. About a mile into the crawl home we got a phone call it was Colin. This is his story:
He must have headed out of the club before us and navigated down to the river. The next thing he remembers he's on the floor with a policeman shining a torch in his eyes while his legs dangled in the river Exe (imagine the river in the film “The River Wild”). The policeman decided he was so fu*ked that he called an ambulance and Colin was taken to the local A&E. When he phoned us he said that he was fine and that the doctors said he was fine, but that despite this they wanted to do some test on him (Colin is obviously rather an enigma to the medical profession! They must see him as an exciting experiment in the same way as an Area 51 scientist looks at an alien). John and Leon went to the hospital to pick him up while the rest of us headed back to Kat's house to drink water(everybody else) and chunder(me). I went home for my night's inevitable coma about 3am. This morning I felt very ill and as result didn't make either of my lectures. Bollocks! I did meet up with Kat and James for lunch to compare notes and ensure that Kat achieved nothing in the afternoon (while I distracted her with my tales of hangover woe).
My last lecture of the week has been cancelled so this week I have failed to attend 100% of my 4 lectures. I'm a shit student. No actually I am a fecking good student.
No more beer now until after the exams although I have said I will finish the bottle of Amarula (the good shit, Mark) which is taking up far too much space in our fridge door at the moment.
It was James' (Diggs) 21st birthday party so Kat, a few of her housemates and I headed down to John Gandy's to help him celebrate with a few drinks. The others were planning to head onto a club after but I said I wouldn't go as I wanted to make it to my lectures today.
One of the presents his housemates got him was an inflatable sheep (don't ask!). James claims he wasn't that drunk when I took these snaps (although when he sees these photos he might change his story in order to save face!)
[As per normal, apologies about Auto focus (I will sort this soon, promise!) and if you hover over the pics there should be a caption. Click to see full size]
James discovers the sheep (warning this is distressing!) is for "adults".....
James' housemates dictate that there is to be a strict "open door" policy when James in his bedroom alone with the sheep so there'll be no repeats of this kind of behaviour....
As it was his birthday girls felt sorry for him. Her he is seen with Charlotte who is tipped to be his future wife.
At this stage the guys who I'd come with and myself(I changed my mind and decided I would go with them and only have a few drinks then head home early so as to make it to lectures) said our goodbyes, wished James the best of luck and headed off to Volts (a night club down on the quay). It was a themed ‘VodBull’ night which meant pound a drink. Kat's housemate, Nat was with us and she had decided to get drunk (possibly for the first time in two years, so we promised to look after her).
The night started with everybody getting pleasantly merry. Below is a picy of Nat and Colin
Then a fairy came and sprinkled some magic intoxicating dust and we all seemed to get totally bolloxs'd. Nat was totally wasted as was Colin (as he found out later) and I think the fact that I spent most of the night stumbling (literally, I was like a pinball, bouncing off one person then the next) around the dance floor demonstrates my level of non compos mentis.
Some of the boys (Dan, Col and Leon)
By now I was totally rat-arsed and was making a complete and utter tit of myself. I don't really remember much detail of the rest of the night but found the below picture on my camera in the morning to my surprise. I have no idea who the girl is although I do remember dancing(if you can call it that) for a long time with some blonde. At the time I put down her apparent attractiveness to my 10 inch think beer spectacles. It seems in retrospect that I was wrong to be so pessimistic about my visual judgement. Shame I was not dextrous enough to take advantage of her friendliness! I know Mark (who comments on this blog from time to time) has issues with the concept of Fit girls and Ugly men, the only excuse I can offer is that maybe she thought I was Chris Moyles?!?
Meanwhile Nat continued to experiment further with the effects of alcohol on her innocent body.
The only other incident of note in the club was when I caught Kat dancing. This, in my experience is a very rare event and I was surprised not to see David Attenborough or Bill Oddie taking documentary film footage of this uncommon occurrence. Here is Kat and John caught on the dance floor. (For those of you who don't know John, he's one of Kat's housemates who is a lovely person and secretly in love with her.)
I do have loads of other photos but as I am a kind hearted person I won't put them up here so as not to further embarrass a certain drama student. Also I just can't be bothered.
When it was time to leave the club I went to regain Kat and my coats then exited into a huge crowd of bladdered students. I couldn’t see anybody I knew, so started to shout out for Kat like a lost seal screaming for its mother. After about 20 seconds I realise that she was standing on her own about 2 metres in front of me in full view. Not that I was still under the influence at this point you understand, I just managed to miss her! We couldn't find Colin so the rest of us headed home. About a mile into the crawl home we got a phone call it was Colin. This is his story:
He must have headed out of the club before us and navigated down to the river. The next thing he remembers he's on the floor with a policeman shining a torch in his eyes while his legs dangled in the river Exe (imagine the river in the film “The River Wild”). The policeman decided he was so fu*ked that he called an ambulance and Colin was taken to the local A&E. When he phoned us he said that he was fine and that the doctors said he was fine, but that despite this they wanted to do some test on him (Colin is obviously rather an enigma to the medical profession! They must see him as an exciting experiment in the same way as an Area 51 scientist looks at an alien). John and Leon went to the hospital to pick him up while the rest of us headed back to Kat's house to drink water(everybody else) and chunder(me). I went home for my night's inevitable coma about 3am. This morning I felt very ill and as result didn't make either of my lectures. Bollocks! I did meet up with Kat and James for lunch to compare notes and ensure that Kat achieved nothing in the afternoon (while I distracted her with my tales of hangover woe).
My last lecture of the week has been cancelled so this week I have failed to attend 100% of my 4 lectures. I'm a shit student. No actually I am a fecking good student.
No more beer now until after the exams although I have said I will finish the bottle of Amarula (the good shit, Mark) which is taking up far too much space in our fridge door at the moment.
posted by Nurton at 9:00 am
4 Comments:
I remember (or, more precisely, don't) when I used to do stuff like that. Ho hum.
Hey! I think I know that random blonde you have your arm around! Don't suppose you remember in your intoxicated state whether she had a broad Scottish accent?
PS - you missed out the part about you creeping up the stairs singing the pink panther theme tune
"Did she have a broad Scottish accent?" She could have had fecking tenticles and a beard for all I can remember!!!
Although from the photo, I would take a guess that the answer is No.
Hey Nat,
If your election party goes off with enough of a bang, you too might have the chance to communicate with God on the big white porcelain telephone in the bathroom!
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