The Über Hangover
In my last post (which I wrote back to back with this one) I said that I was going to keep it short. Well I did manage that but only by leaving out the story of what I got up to last night (featuring Elkie's photos).
We went out on what we agreed would be our last (this REALLY is the last) piss-up before exams. Six of us headed down to a club on the quay. Unfortunately being a Monday night and in the run up to exams the place was pretty dead so we headed next door to the Prospect Inn and had a few drinks.
We explained to Colin that he was not allowed to drink alcohol anymore as he could not be trusted. As can be seen from the photo below he was not happy about this, so to shut him up we said he could have "one or two" (incidentally, "one or two" was the number of drinks I was planning on participation with, so as to aid my revision chances today)
I like pubs, they are great places. Below a photo with of me with our "tottie" in the pub….
We eventually moved onto the club which was now no longer empty although I would guess that at most there were 70 people there. On the plus side 70% of the 70 were girls.
We found a technique for increasing ones perceptions of the number of fellow clubbers, here are the instructions....
- Drink a variety of strong alcohol based refreshments
- Be amazed as the number of people you see doubles before your very (blurry) eyes.
- Repeat if necessary. [Caution this is a 2^n technique and can quickly lead to millions of unwanted clubbers if used unchecked]
I drank too much and fell off the chair that I was sitting on so decided it would be a good idea to "dance off the alcohol". Why, oh why, oh why do I always dance when I a drunk? I am officially the worst dancer in Exeter, I am amazed that I have never been 'removed' from a dance floor by a big bald guy called Frank and thrown into the street. I was even more amazed that Kat spent as much time strutting her stuff as well, although she assures me today that she wasn't that drunk. I don't believe her, but I don't care the important thing was that I got somebody to dance with and she got to enjoy watching me make a tit of myself. Below is a pic of the two of us during a brief pause from the action.....
![Do I look like a sleaze? [Hint: I don’t want the honest answer]](http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y83/Nurton/Vaults2005001.jpg)
The others were also being "irresponsible with alcohol", something that we feel we must do as much as possible before Tony Blair outlaws it. Dan discovers that he likes pecks as much as boobs....
While dancing I spotted this guy and just had to go and introduce myself. As far as I could attain it was real hair. What a legend. Very Moulin Rouge.
After this Colin disappeared. I know what you are thinking, but we weren’t thinking that until we got half way home and realised we hadn't seen him for ages. Luckily we met somebody who looked like him (albeit with different clothes) outside a kebab shop and took him home as a replacement.
-------------
Today I have been able to do the following
- Watch Ice age on DVD and giggle like a school girl
- Make Nurton patented "extra pepper" scrambled eggs
- Walk slowly to campus and buy a paper
Today I have been unable to do the following
- Eat without feeling very sick
- Do a mild Su Doku puzzle
- Sleep
- Do the washing up
- Do any revision
- Tidy my room
- Buy new tyres for my car
- Feel anything but pain
I swear I will NEVER drink again. No more. I've had my fun and never again will I touch the sweet amber nectar that tastes so sweet and makes me feel so good...... well probably NEVER.
[Thanks again to Elkie for the pics (except the last one that was taken on my phone, not bad for a dark night club). Click to enlarge and hover to see captions, you know the drill.]
We went out on what we agreed would be our last (this REALLY is the last) piss-up before exams. Six of us headed down to a club on the quay. Unfortunately being a Monday night and in the run up to exams the place was pretty dead so we headed next door to the Prospect Inn and had a few drinks.
We explained to Colin that he was not allowed to drink alcohol anymore as he could not be trusted. As can be seen from the photo below he was not happy about this, so to shut him up we said he could have "one or two" (incidentally, "one or two" was the number of drinks I was planning on participation with, so as to aid my revision chances today)
I like pubs, they are great places. Below a photo with of me with our "tottie" in the pub….
We eventually moved onto the club which was now no longer empty although I would guess that at most there were 70 people there. On the plus side 70% of the 70 were girls.
We found a technique for increasing ones perceptions of the number of fellow clubbers, here are the instructions....
- Drink a variety of strong alcohol based refreshments
- Be amazed as the number of people you see doubles before your very (blurry) eyes.
- Repeat if necessary. [Caution this is a 2^n technique and can quickly lead to millions of unwanted clubbers if used unchecked]
I drank too much and fell off the chair that I was sitting on so decided it would be a good idea to "dance off the alcohol". Why, oh why, oh why do I always dance when I a drunk? I am officially the worst dancer in Exeter, I am amazed that I have never been 'removed' from a dance floor by a big bald guy called Frank and thrown into the street. I was even more amazed that Kat spent as much time strutting her stuff as well, although she assures me today that she wasn't that drunk. I don't believe her, but I don't care the important thing was that I got somebody to dance with and she got to enjoy watching me make a tit of myself. Below is a pic of the two of us during a brief pause from the action.....
The others were also being "irresponsible with alcohol", something that we feel we must do as much as possible before Tony Blair outlaws it. Dan discovers that he likes pecks as much as boobs....
While dancing I spotted this guy and just had to go and introduce myself. As far as I could attain it was real hair. What a legend. Very Moulin Rouge.
After this Colin disappeared. I know what you are thinking, but we weren’t thinking that until we got half way home and realised we hadn't seen him for ages. Luckily we met somebody who looked like him (albeit with different clothes) outside a kebab shop and took him home as a replacement.
-------------
Today I have been able to do the following
- Watch Ice age on DVD and giggle like a school girl
- Make Nurton patented "extra pepper" scrambled eggs
- Walk slowly to campus and buy a paper
Today I have been unable to do the following
- Eat without feeling very sick
- Do a mild Su Doku puzzle
- Sleep
- Do the washing up
- Do any revision
- Tidy my room
- Buy new tyres for my car
- Feel anything but pain
I swear I will NEVER drink again. No more. I've had my fun and never again will I touch the sweet amber nectar that tastes so sweet and makes me feel so good...... well probably NEVER.
[Thanks again to Elkie for the pics (except the last one that was taken on my phone, not bad for a dark night club). Click to enlarge and hover to see captions, you know the drill.]
posted by Nurton at 11:42 am
14 Comments:
There's a green light floating over your head Nurton! It's very supernatural looking. Either it's your lucky study guide or it's making you surprisingly sick following a night of drinking. Maybe catch a ghostbuster and have him look at it!
Please help the American. What does "tottie" mean?
Hottie - Friend - Waitress?
In a daze and thanks...
I would like to see a Nurton blog competition in which prizes for winning include:
An overnight shipment of said patented peppered eggs
One bound copy of the edited dissertation
Accompanying blog glossary so we can decipher words like tottie without context clues
The Ice Age DVD (this one is clearly negotiable).
Vermont....
"Either it's..."
"...your lucky study guide"
Wrong
OR
"...making you surprisingly sick following a night of drinking"
Nail, head, hit, on.
Oregano
You haven't tried my "extra pepper" recipe.
Dear All,
Spoke to Darth today on the phone and he has agreed to blog about the meaning of the word 'tottie'
Stay tuned
OK, we have taken note of the comment about prizes.
The eggs idea is a little impracticle but food for thought
If you want a copy of my dissy, try checking the following address:
Prof. Partridge's Waste Paper Bin, DCS, Exeter University, Devon, UK.
I am happy to give away the Ice Age DVD as long as nobody (including my housemate who "owns" it) has any objections.
Noel, I'm quite possibly being a bit of a spaz here, but I never get captions when I hover over the photos :-( Maybe it's coz I use Firefox.
Anyway, great work on the drinking front so close to exams - I had two lager tops while watching Survival Sunday, but that's been it since the footie curry. Weak.
Incidentally, working on the principles that (a) Philly is not going to read this, (b) I told her last I was looking forward to spending the next five weeks in the company of Lady Isabella Hervey and she didn't seem to mind, and (c) (in the words of the GLC) she knows I loves her, I just have to say: your friend Kat is hot.
PS I'm backing Kris on the prizes front.
Firefox browsing:
- Don't know if you can make captions pop up as on IE but if you right click on the image and selection 'Properties', then the field 'Alternate text' should show the caption text. I will consult a geek and ask if they know a better way.
While we're on the subject, yes I admit that I use IE. I have always used IE in combination with Norton anti virus and a free Zonealarm firewall. I have never had a virus or any other type of malicious software on my PC or any other problems caused by IE. IE is not slow (on my PC at least). IE will do for me although Firefox may be better here are two reasons for not using it:
- It is open source software. Who creates open source software? Weird people. Trust me you meet these types when you do a computer science degree. In my opinion it is better to make Mr. Gates richer than incourage young children to become open source freaks.
- You may accidently say 'I've just installed Firefox' while talking to a girl. Then you have a whole lot of explaining to do when she asks how you know so much about computers. (somthing about me I generally try to hide from potential dates)
I know basically nowt about computers but I use Firefox because IE was seriously fucking me over with spyware and something that diverted me to a really shit search page no matter where I actually wanted to go.
Plus, the Firefox logo is sooo much cooler!
Forgot to say I am actually a big Gates fan because (a) he keeps it real, and (b) he is basically single-handedly funding anything approaching an effective HIV prevention/treatment program in Africa.
My love of Firefox is nothing against the big G.
errr, as the owner of said Ice Age DVD, I have to say that actually I OBJECT to it being raffled off as a prize, NO MATTER how good the competition or how original/funny the winning answer.
Sorry to be a pain.
PS Darth - fantastic definition of Tottie, I have to say it has cleared up considerably the definition I had in mind. I shall ensure I use the term correctly in future.
hi noel. it took me so long to find your website only to be dissapointed by the lack of pictures. i know its not your fault because usually on nights out your too drunk to work the camera. but now that i have found it and pinned it to fav's, can u please try and put some more pics on or i'll sue you 4 false advertising.
p.s. pub Q 2nite?
cancel that last thought
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