The Star Ship Enterprise and Holiday Inns
OK, firstly sorry for the gap since my last post, but as I explained I am rather busy at the moment and away from my broadband connection for the next week so you will have to bear with me, but please keep visiting and leaving comments!
So I returned to my parents on Saturday, with a bloody cold. Some how I have contracted this cold in the five days I spent living alone in a house. Amazing. I drove into London on Sunday afternoon. As I was working 'on site' my company had provided me with a hire car. Wonderful, being a petrol head I always enjoy driving new cars. For some reason Europcar thought it necessary to provide me with a bus. It was a Renault Espace and bloody huge compared to anything I am used to driving. Now I like to think of myself as a bit of a technophile but this car had me stumped. Firstly there are NO buttons on the dash. I actually had to read the instruction manual from cover to cover just to find out how to locate the handbrake! The entire car was just too advanced for me! The transmission was automatic, the wind screen wipers were automatic, the handbrake was automatic, everything was auto-bloody-matic. I also read the instructions for the car stereo, but failed(spectacularly) to locate the stereo itself. The manual showed a picture of a power button (much the same as on any electronic device) and instructs the user to press it once to switch the system on. It fails to give a diagram of the cabin to locate the fecking button. I know it had a stereo as it had a little stalk on the steering wheel for volume etc and speakers, but alas I had a silent weekend motoring!
This did allow me time to experiment with the other toys that this car came with. It has a near full length sun roof which was fun this morning on the drive home as the sun was out. It also has quite a sophisticated cruise control system, which gave me much fun as I managed to navigate 4 junctions on the M25 (through the roadworks) not touching the brake or accelerator (gas pedal) once. Quite an achievement and to be honest I don't think I caused any accidents in the course of this little game!
Anyway, I managed to navigate my way through central London and find the work site which was near Kings Cross. I started work at 8pm on Sunday and only finished at 9.30am (with no breaks!) on the Monday morning. To say I was tired by the time I finally got to the hotel was an understatement especially as my cold had now turned into something more akin to TB.
Holiday Inn Hotels:
For anybody who has never had the delight to stay in one of these establishments I will enlighten you with a few facts.
- Nobody EVER stays in one when on HOLIDAY
- No matter where in the world you are all Holiday Inns look exactly the same. This is to help American business men, who often use the brand. Americans can often panic first thing in the morning if they wake and realise that they are not within the safe boarders of their fatherland. Hence there are only subtle clues as to the country you are in, in the form of paintings on the wall, so that Yanks are slowly exposed to the reality of their situation as they wake up and walk to breakfast.
- Everything about EVERY Holiday Inn is exactly the same.
- None of their staff ever speak the same language as you.
So being aware of all these facts I prepared to get some kip before heading back home. But this was not exactly a pleasant experience for the following reasons.
- The room was smaller than my bathroom
- The room smelt (before I entered!)
- The AC was shit
- The AC reverted from 16oC to 24oC automatically at 11am so I woke up sweating like a pig
- Despite informing reception that I was a night shift worker, putting my "Do Not Disturb" sign on my door and adding the comments "I am asleep", "Night Worker", "I don't need room service" on the sign, there still came the inevitable knock on my door at 10:30am and the shouts of "Hello, Hello" from some babushka.
- The bed was as comfortable as the floor.
- The walls were thin and hence I could hear the people next door.
I failed to get much sleep. To say I was in a bad mood when I left at 2 is an understatement (second one in 24 hours!), Grrr!
Went to sleep as soon as I got back to my parents and awoke at 6:30am on Tuesday morning. Was a little surprised to hear children playing outside my window at that early hour so went downstairs to investigate only to be explained (slowly and repeatedly) by my mother that it was in fact 6:30 pm on Monday.
So basically I am screwed with a body clock that thinks it is sometime on Tuesday, a body that wants to cough, snot and throb and nothing to do. Bollocks.
Sorry for the disjointed nature of this post, but I'm sure you realise I am suffering a little thus unable to entertain any humour in my life at this time.
So I returned to my parents on Saturday, with a bloody cold. Some how I have contracted this cold in the five days I spent living alone in a house. Amazing. I drove into London on Sunday afternoon. As I was working 'on site' my company had provided me with a hire car. Wonderful, being a petrol head I always enjoy driving new cars. For some reason Europcar thought it necessary to provide me with a bus. It was a Renault Espace and bloody huge compared to anything I am used to driving. Now I like to think of myself as a bit of a technophile but this car had me stumped. Firstly there are NO buttons on the dash. I actually had to read the instruction manual from cover to cover just to find out how to locate the handbrake! The entire car was just too advanced for me! The transmission was automatic, the wind screen wipers were automatic, the handbrake was automatic, everything was auto-bloody-matic. I also read the instructions for the car stereo, but failed(spectacularly) to locate the stereo itself. The manual showed a picture of a power button (much the same as on any electronic device) and instructs the user to press it once to switch the system on. It fails to give a diagram of the cabin to locate the fecking button. I know it had a stereo as it had a little stalk on the steering wheel for volume etc and speakers, but alas I had a silent weekend motoring!
This did allow me time to experiment with the other toys that this car came with. It has a near full length sun roof which was fun this morning on the drive home as the sun was out. It also has quite a sophisticated cruise control system, which gave me much fun as I managed to navigate 4 junctions on the M25 (through the roadworks) not touching the brake or accelerator (gas pedal) once. Quite an achievement and to be honest I don't think I caused any accidents in the course of this little game!
Anyway, I managed to navigate my way through central London and find the work site which was near Kings Cross. I started work at 8pm on Sunday and only finished at 9.30am (with no breaks!) on the Monday morning. To say I was tired by the time I finally got to the hotel was an understatement especially as my cold had now turned into something more akin to TB.
Holiday Inn Hotels:
For anybody who has never had the delight to stay in one of these establishments I will enlighten you with a few facts.
- Nobody EVER stays in one when on HOLIDAY
- No matter where in the world you are all Holiday Inns look exactly the same. This is to help American business men, who often use the brand. Americans can often panic first thing in the morning if they wake and realise that they are not within the safe boarders of their fatherland. Hence there are only subtle clues as to the country you are in, in the form of paintings on the wall, so that Yanks are slowly exposed to the reality of their situation as they wake up and walk to breakfast.
- Everything about EVERY Holiday Inn is exactly the same.
- None of their staff ever speak the same language as you.
So being aware of all these facts I prepared to get some kip before heading back home. But this was not exactly a pleasant experience for the following reasons.
- The room was smaller than my bathroom
- The room smelt (before I entered!)
- The AC was shit
- The AC reverted from 16oC to 24oC automatically at 11am so I woke up sweating like a pig
- Despite informing reception that I was a night shift worker, putting my "Do Not Disturb" sign on my door and adding the comments "I am asleep", "Night Worker", "I don't need room service" on the sign, there still came the inevitable knock on my door at 10:30am and the shouts of "Hello, Hello" from some babushka.
- The bed was as comfortable as the floor.
- The walls were thin and hence I could hear the people next door.
I failed to get much sleep. To say I was in a bad mood when I left at 2 is an understatement (second one in 24 hours!), Grrr!
Went to sleep as soon as I got back to my parents and awoke at 6:30am on Tuesday morning. Was a little surprised to hear children playing outside my window at that early hour so went downstairs to investigate only to be explained (slowly and repeatedly) by my mother that it was in fact 6:30 pm on Monday.
So basically I am screwed with a body clock that thinks it is sometime on Tuesday, a body that wants to cough, snot and throb and nothing to do. Bollocks.
Sorry for the disjointed nature of this post, but I'm sure you realise I am suffering a little thus unable to entertain any humour in my life at this time.
posted by Nurton at 11:04 am
1 Comments:
Holiday Inn? Don't you mean Holiday Bin? A room smaller than our bathroom - now that IS an achievement!
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